This book gathers together an exchange of letters over
the first year of placement of a particularly troubled child with a foster/adopt
family in Virginia-between Lori Thomas, the foster/adoptive mother, and Michael
Trout, Director of The Infant-Parent Institute in Illinois. Unbeknownst to the
two parties, they were recording the story of the tortuously slow and unsteady
opening up of the soul of a little boy. 192 pages.
The family happened to have that rare combination of
internal and external resources that seem necessary if it is to survive the
screaming, the resistance to attachment, the "crazy lying", the aggressiveness,
the manipulations, and the rage that are often seen in children with Reactive
Attachment Disorder. They had friends, faith, a sense of mission, a reason to
put everything aside each day, and a marriage that could sustain blow after
blow. But they also had a unique persistence, which may be what drove them to
reach halfway across the U.S. to find the level of developmental guidance and
continuous support that they knew was needed, and to tell such a compelling
story that Mr. Trout could not turn away.
At the end of it all, the family made a decision to
adopt, and the mother in Virginia and her supporter in Illinois saw that they
had a record that might be of value other foster or adoptive parents who were
fighting to stay the course, to keep themselves from disrupting yet another
placement of a wounded child who was tearing them apart. There is nothing about
the story told in "The Jonathon Letters" that suggests an easy treatment,
or that offers clever strategies to restore trust to a child who has no reason
to believe that accepting love could ever be safe. It is a tale of ups and downs,
because that's how it is with children whose beginnings have been so tortured.
But the reader begins to get a sense of the driving energy of this unique family,
who somehow bounce back after every regression, and find ways to understand
Jonathon's defiance and rage and to remain connected to their purpose.
For more information about The Jonathon Letters and
Reactive Attachment Disorder, go to Building Healthy Families.